Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is in South Korea this week because if there is anyone who has spectacularly failed upward, it’s Hegseth. You know, a bitter middle manager fixated on grievances who convinced himself that if only he were in charge, things would be perfect.
Well, Hegseth is in charge, and he’s laser-focused on what is really important: making sure America’s armed forces are clean-shaven.
What? You were expecting that his priority would be, say, overseeing a bombing campaign that is quite clearly extrajudicial murder? Hegseth can multitask!
“Beardos and fatsos” by Clay Jones
So, while in South Korea, Hegseth has declared that he will not be meeting with any troops who are not clean-shaven. The reason, in true Hegseth fashion, is a combination of rake-stepping and racism.
The beard thing is an absolutely unhinged and bigoted obsession for Hegseth. Service members are required to be clean-shaven, but they can obtain a shaving waiver and maintain a beard if they have a medical necessity or a religious exemption. However, since Hegseth’s eyes cannot abide the sight of a beard, he’s eliminated permanent shaving waivers.
Imagine being in the military, having spent your whole life ascending the ranks, doing the right thing, gaining the respect of your troops, and having a former Fox News host yell at you, “No more beardos. The era of rampant and ridiculous shaving profiles is done.”
Wait, there’s more: “We don’t have a military full of Nordic pagans. No more beards, long hair, superficial individual expression. We’re going to cut our hair, shave our beards, and adhere to standards. If you want a beard, you can join special forces. If not, then shave.”
Do you hear yourself, man?
Related | Hegseth’s racism is hidden in plain sight
This fixation might seem like just a weird idiosyncratic thing for Hegseth, something on which he places outsized importance but doesn’t really matter to others. While it’s definitely a weird fixation, what underlies it is Hegseth’s constant obsession with stripping the military of everyone except white men.
Most soldiers who need a shaving waiver for medical necessity are Black, because Black men get pseudofolliculitis barbae, where curly hair grows back into the skin and causes painful bumps and scarring. The only real treatment for it is not to shave closely. About 3% of white men have the condition, but for Black men it’s anywhere from 45-80%.
So, Hegseth’s “no beardos” rule is going to disproportionately affect Black men, which is precisely what Hegseth wants. Now, anyone who requires a shaving waiver for longer than a year will be involuntarily separated from the military.
But wait! Hegseth’s beard ban is a bigotry two-for-one. How efficient!
The religions that require men to maintain beards are, well, let’s just say they are probably not religions Hegseth thinks should exist. Both Islam and Sikhism require beards, so this policy may also have the effect of forcing those troops to choose between their faith and their jobs. Real nice religious freedom you got there.
Even though the no beardos requirement doesn’t kick in until the end of the year, apparently the soldiers in South Korea should have read Hegseth’s mind and started scraping their faces clean in anticipation of his arrival. Those who didn’t were deprived of the honor of meeting with the defense secretary.
Well, come to think of it, that’s probably better than getting to meet with this particular defense secretary. Hegseth is an intolerant toddler in way over his head, clinging to any way he can exert his authority in the most racist, pathetic way possible.
