V.B. asks: My oldest son has worked hard for years to get into an Ivy League or equivalent college. He has achieved top grades, spent countless hours excelling in extracurriculars, devoted himself to volunteering and otherwise done whatever he could to succeed. I’m worried he’ll be crushed if he doesn’t get in – or, perhaps even worse, if we can’t afford the price tag. What should I be telling him?
Amber Bisnauth, director of admissions at CollegeAdvisor.com and a former admissions officer for Stanford University, responds:
“Dream school” doesn’t necessarily mean Ivy League or their equivalent. Prestige shouldn’t be the only driver determining a student’s top choice, and it’s important to remember that Ivy League schools have single-digit acceptance rates. That includes valedictorians, class presidents and non-profit founders!
To help prepare your son for any outcome, make sure he’s invested in the process by researching colleges and asking the important questions. For instance, what does he want to study? If he’s not sure, a liberal arts education would make sense. If he’s more directed, schools with the best programs might be flying under the radar because their overall rankings aren’t as high. If done correctly, the college application list will include a balanced list of nine to 12 schools (including reach, target and favorable – or safety – schools). With thousands of options, all of those final schools should be exciting options for him.
Finally, be transparent and realistic. Have your son assess the academic profile of schools and evaluate where he lines up. If your child isn’t in the middle 50% score range for required standardized tests or they’ve taken an “easier” courseload, understand that that might put the most competitive schools out of reach. Parents can easily feel pressured to get children in to the “best” schools, but one of the most helpful things you can do is help them (and yourselves) establish the right expectations.
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